Vicious talons of the past
by Doomedphsyx2030
Summary: When the most horrible day comes crashing down on Kendall, he finds his secret harder to keep away from his brothers. But when stress becomes too much for Kendall because of some harsh words and memories resurfacing, will he crack under the pressure? Or spill his biggest secret?


Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. But I've been working on this one-shot for a while now, and I know it's been a while since I posted another chapter of 'A Rose Between Four Thorns' but hopefully this will keep you until I can get onto the main computer with my laptop so I can type out the chapter! Please enjoy and review!

DoomedPhsyx2030

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Kendall's p.o.v

Kendall woke to tears streaming down his face when his alarm clock blared obnoxiously in his right ear, immediately waking him from his slumber. Without realising the date, Kendall did his usual routine, bolting straight for the bathroom before James could beat him to it, spending a full hour on his hair. As Kendall slammed the door, he heard footsteps marching to the door, the person jiggling the handle ferociously

"Dude!" James shouted from the other side of the door, his voice whining at Kendall because he beat him to the bathroom this time. James slammed his hand hard onto the bathroom door, but it did nothing but make Kendall's smirk become wider, before he jumped into the shower. Letting the water wash away the stress, and tears that Kendall never realised had streamed down his face, Kendall's mind tried to remember what was so important about today, because a gut feeling was trying to convince him to stay inside the apartment for today, and not go to Gustavo to record demo tracks. Even when Kendall washed the stress from his body, the gut feeling still remained with him, clenching hard, almost painfully when he saw his mother enter the room and gave him a smile. Looking deeper into his mum's face, Kendall noticed the happy look coated by sadness she was trying to mask behind her eyes, but before she could fully mask it, Kendall saw the look in his mothers eyes. She knew what the date meant, but Kendall never got a chance to ask, because all three boys came rushing into the kitchen, each slamming into a chair around the table and tucking into the pancakes that his mum placed on the table. The clattering of knives and forks never distracted Kendall from his stomach flipping painfully, almost sending vomit rising up to his throat, his face probably turning green. But his mother noticed, and without a word she grasped Kendall's hand, and while the guys were distracted, wrenched him into her room, slowly and quietly shutting the door behind her. With a long, dragged out sigh, his mum finally turned towards Kendall

"I'm sorry sweetie, I know today will be hard for you" his mum spoke softly, brushing Kendall's fringe back with her hand, her eyes going soft. But Kendall opened his mouth to ask the question, but a small knock on the door made Jennifer jump out of her skin, and she yanked open the door to find Logan looking horrified at disturbing their private talk. Logan immediately paled, but Jennifer quickly reassured him that it was okay

"W-We need to go soon" Logan spoke, staring at Kendall and raising his eyebrows at the look Kendall was probably giving him. He could feel his eyebrows knitted together furiously, wracking his brain for the answer

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute" Kendall replied, shoving on a wide smile that was completely fake, but Logan bought it, quickly turning on his heels and walking back to the table. His mum quickly slammed the door closed again, turning around to stare Kendall in the eyes, her own eyes puzzled from what he could see

"D-Do you remember what today is?" his mum asked in a worried tone, her face loosing a little of its colour when she spoke the words, but before Kendall could reply, James' voice screamed that they needed to go now or Gustavo would be annoyed. Sighing, Kendall hugged his mum before opening the door and leaving the room, ignoring the small tug at his clothing from his mum

"I'll be fine mum" Kendall shouted over his shoulder, slamming the apartment door closed

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Gustavo yelled for the tenth time today, startling each of the boys into silence. Gustavo slammed his headphones down to his neck, glaring at each boy in turn as they all seemed to flinch away from the glare

"Sorry Gustavo" Logan replied for them all, giving him a small, friendly smile and hoping for the best. But Gustavo still glared at them all, especially Kendall it seemed

"I want singing, not the sound of a cat being strangled!" Gustavo shouted over the mic, making all of the boys jump a foot in the air because of the loud noise, James even slamming the headphones down onto the floor and rubbing at his ears. Kendall on the other hand only stayed glued to the spot, staring back at Gustavo as he seemed to glare at him the most "Kendall was the worst out of you all!" Gustavo complained in his big, booming voice over the mic. From the corner of his eyes, Kendall saw James nodding his head with Gustavo as he ranted on and on about what Kendall did wrong when he was singing. Kendall tried on multiple occasions to reply to Gustavo's rant, but instead he completely ignored Kendall

"I mean look at you!" Gustavo quickly changed the subject abruptly, making Kendall pay immediate attention to what he was saying "You're face just looks wrong, your singing sucks, your haircut is hideous, dare I go on?" Gustavo spoke in a harsh tone, and Kendall felt bile raise up from his stomach, almost making him want to vomit right there in the recording booth. He didn't dare look Gustavo in the eyes, but something made Kendall feel much worse about himself

"Yeah Kendall, can't you get anything right?" James butted into Gustavo's rant, stopping Gustavo dead in his speech. Kendall looked at James to smile at him, but the instant Kendall stared into James' eyes, he saw the hate rid deep within those hazel eyes, just like before when Gustavo picked him instead of James. Kendall hoped that he couldn't continue with what he was going to say, but Gustavo stopped any other conversation

"Kendall don't sing, let the others sing and listen to them. Maybe you can learn a few things, like singing properly!" Gustavo boomed, pressing a load of buttons and signalling for the others to start singing. Immediately Kendall felt horror filling his veins, freezing the blood, stopping it from flowing around his body. His heart pounded heavily in his chest, almost loud enough for the others to hear, but they were too absorbed in the music to listen, even if they could hear his heart pounding. Kendall tried to give Gustavo eye contact, but all Gustavo did was glare at him with pure hate rid that not only showed in his eyes, but on his face too. His lips were raised in a snarl, his teeth gritted so hard that Kendall could see a vein pulsing on his forehead. But the single look made Kendall freeze, his mind flashing back to another time when someone looked at him that way. He desperately tried to look away from Gustavo to control his emotions, but he couldn't tear his gaze from Gustavo's angry look, it was as if he would lash out at him like another person did long ago. Kendall reacted in the only way he knew how, yanking the headphones from around his neck and throwing them to the floor in panic. Kendall dug the heels of his hands deep into his eyes, trying to block out the memories trying to float back into his mind and the sobs that threatened to explode from his mouth

Flashback

_"No! Daddy please!" a six year old Kendall Knight bellowed, curling into the corner of his room and sobbing loudly in a horrific panic that threatened to make the young boy hyperventilate. But the man standing before him only laughed, vile and haunting that would remain in Kendall's mind forever. He loomed over Kendall, staring him down and sneering words that make Kendall's heart skip a beat_

_"You worthless piece of shit!" Keith Knight roared, slapping Kendall hard across the face to make his point known, but he didn't stop at the one slap, he kept pounding into Kendall with his fists, feet and anything else that he found in the room. Kendall bit down on his already blooded lip, keeping himself from sobbing and showing the vile man looming over him that what he was doing was hurting him. Kendall tried to curl into himself, preventing his father from hitting bruises that already covered his skin, feeling the blood running down from the wounds his father had inflicted on him earlier on, but the blood from his lip dribbled faster down his chin when he bit down hard enough to draw a large amount of blood._

_"D-Daddy please!" Kendall screamed, cowering away from his father when he reached under Kendall's bed, producing the baseball bat that he kept underneath his bed for emergencies. Horror filled eyes watched his father raise the bat above his head, a cruel smirk on his twisted lips as he stared down at Kendall_

_"You'll pay" he sneered, throwing the baseball down with all his strength and slamming the bat against Kendall's small cheek, the horrific sound ricocheting off the walls with a gut-wrenching scream_

Someone grabbed his arm while the horrible flashback played through his mind, startling Kendall so badly that he gave off a horrified scream of panic, throwing himself backwards as hard as he could to get away from the person. His body slammed into the wall of the booth with a sick crunch, his bones cracking at the contact, but Kendall felt no pain, only fear curling in his stomach. Voices shouted at him, but they sounded far away to Kendall's ears, their words barely registering in his mind. Pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes hard enough so it sent pain coursing through Kendall, he gave off a gut-wrenching scream of panic similar to the boy in his small flashback, words bubbling from his mouth before he could register what he was saying

"Let me out! Let me out!" Kendall repeated the words, screaming them as loud as he could in the recording booth, trying to make his point known

"Get out of the way!" Logan's voice filtered through to Kendall's ears, and he could barely hear shoes scuffing against the floor as they moved. Kendall didn't give them any more time to move, lunging for the door and knocking someone off balance, forcing them into the wall, tearing at the handle in a blind panic before he finally wrenched the door open, crashing his shoulder into the door when it didn't move quick enough

"Don't move another step" a voice sneered in a cold tone, making Kendall freeze in a complete panic at the tone before he could make it to the door. The tone had been the thing that stopped him dead in his tracks, the memory still roaming around in his mind, the same tone his father had used countless times in his life. When his heart dropped past his feet and withered to ash at his feet, Kendall realised what day it was today. The day that his father had put him into the hospital for the last time before his mother found out. That was the flashback he had, the last time that his father had raised his hand towards Kendall. Kendall dared a look towards Gustavo, but he flinched at the nasty glare that he was sending Kendall

"What will you do if I don't . . .fire me?!" Kendall had to pause to stop himself screaming the words 'what will you do? Hit me' to Gustavo, because the words were so close on the tip of his tongue. But Gustavo's lips pulled up in a dangerous sneer, and Kendall's breath hitched in his throat when he swore he saw his fathers face flash briefly across Gustavo's, and Kendall bit his lip hard to stop a sob bursting from his lips

"No, I can easily replace you with someone better! Someone who's so much better looking than you! Someone who follows orders without complaint" Gustavo spoke, and Kendall felt like it was his father standing right there in front of him, sneering the words that crushed his heart into a million pieces, making him feel worthless, like a piece of shit on his shoe. When Kendall looked into the recording booth he noticed that none of the guys had made a move towards him to back him up, to save him from the venomous words that Gustavo was spitting at him. Kendall's eyes watered with tears, but he regretted them immediately

"Oh look, the tough leader of Big Time Rush is crying! Cry Baby!" Gustavo snarled, getting into Kendall's face and breaking Kendall further. Kendall even thought that Gustavo would raise his hands to punch Kendall, but he kept them to his sides, sneering more words that should have broken Kendall if he was listening. But while he was in his own little world, he never heard the small sob that exploded from his mouth while he was distracted, but when more hands grasped at his clothing, Kendall gave off another scream of terror, trying to break their hold

"Kendall! Stop!" James screamed, slapping Kendall in his face to stop his crazy screaming, but it only made the situation ten times worse. As Kendall's head snapped to the right, the pain flaring in his cheek, Kendall gave off the most gut-wrenching, terrified wail, his hands slapping the comforting arms he should have recognised instantly away to give himself room to bolt from the room. When he felt they were a safe enough distance away from him, Kendall did bolt from the studio in a flood of tears, ignoring the pleas for him to come back

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James' p.o.v

James watched his best friend bolt from the room in a fit of tears, slapping away their comforting hands as he gave off a gut-wrenching, terrified wail, crippling James' heart the moment it came out of Kendall's mouth. James only stood frozen on the same spot, his body flinching as if he was about to run after Kendall, but something stopped him. It could have been anger at Gustavo for saying all those horrible things to Kendall, but it also could have been how none of his 'brothers' didn't try to steer the conversation in a different route so that all of the focus was not on Kendall.

"What the hell just happened?" Gustavo questioned, wiping his eyes behind his 'bug eyed' sunglasses, a horrified look etched on his face. But James rounded on him, a feeling of guilt and anger making the words spit from his mouth

"You did this!" James screamed, pushing Gustavo hard at the shoulder, watching his managed stumble slightly

"I was joking!" Gustavo shot back, but before James could lunge towards Gustavo, two pairs of arms circled around his waist, restraining him the best they could to stop James from punching his manager

"We need to find Kendall" Logan shouted, temporarily breaking James out of his anger, his thoughts immediately going to his broken brother. James only nodded his head and allowed both Carlos and Logan to pull him out of the room, but his thoughts were only focused on Kendall and how horrified he looked while Gustavo ripped into him like a piece of meat. Something was wrong, seriously wrong with Kendall and they needed to get it out of him before he did something stupid because he was very upset

"Where would he be?" Logan shouted in a desperate voice, the scream almost a shriek with worry. Without any warning, Carlos slapped Logan across the face, shutting him up from his rant

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Logan's p.o.v

When Carlos slapped Logan, the sudden slap made Logan focus immediately on what was happening. The room stopped spinning, and the rant that he couldn't stop himself from saying died on his tongue the moment he heard the slap. A stinging sensation stung at his cheek, and as Logan looked, he noticed Carlos lowering his hand away from Logan's cheek

"D-Did you just slap me?" Logan stuttered, his hand cupping his cheek, trying to sooth the stinging sensation that prickled at his cheek. Carlos said nothing to the comment, but his eyes narrowed angrily. He was biting his lower lip, probably to stop himself from spitting out a load of words that wouldn't help in the situation, but Logan actually hoped that Carlos would scream at them, because to be honest, they deserved every word. Logan had never realised that Kendall had looked so upset today, even though he noticed Mama Knight drag Kendall to her room for a private chat he had no idea what they were talking about. Logan had simply brushed it off, but now he wished he knew what they were talking about, because they needed to know what was wrong with Kendall. The only person who would know would have been Mama Knight, but she was currently at work

"We need to find Kendall, quickly!" James shouted suddenly, breaking Logan out of his train of thought, but Carlos still looked angry and upset, his eyes even filling with tears and his bottom lip trembling. Logan moved forwards towards Carlos, but as soon as Carlos noticed him moving, he backed away, the sadness on his face replaced with anger

"How could we have just sat back and let Gustavo rip into Kendall like that?" Carlos snarled low in his throat, startling Logan and James. They had never heard Carlos sounding so angry before, because Carlos was usually the one who bounced off the walls with excitement, and had no bad bone in his body. But now he was showing a different side to them, a side that was nothing like Carlos, and Logan flinched at the harsh words. It was true that no one even tried to back Kendall up when Gustavo ripped into Kendall, even James brought himself into the conversation and spoke his mind, upsetting Kendall even more. But the most horrific part was when Kendall gave off the gut-wrenching wail of a scream when they tried to calm him down, even throwing himself into the wall to get away from them. The hurt that raced through Logan when Kendall did that was horrible, and even now he was feeling terrible about the ordeal. He wished they could find Kendall soon, and say they were sorry. No one spoke while they searched around the Palm Woods, all probably thinking the same thing, 'how could we have stooped so far in letting Kendall get ripped to shreds by Gustavo'

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Kendall's p.o.v

Dream

_A young Kendall Knight sat in the corner of the closet just staring straight ahead at the wall, not daring to move a single muscle, his shoulders tense, his legs up against his chest to make sure that he stayed as small as he could. His father's loud, vicious voice screaming at him, using naughty words that he shouldn't know, crashing and banging about while trying to find him. Kendall held his breath for a long time, not daring to even breathe it if meant that he could stay away from the monster that was his father. There was a loud crash of something large smashing against the door of the closet, making Kendall jump a mile in the air, a small squeak of fear escaping from his mouth. The room went silent for a moment, and Kendall whimpered in fright, backing up against the back of the closet, his nails uselessly scratching at the wood because he knew that the monster was right behind the doors separating him from his father. But the doors to the closet snapped open, the left one snapping right from it's hinges at the violent tug, but Kendall froze against the wood, his body tensing so badly that he couldn't move. The light from his bedroom formed the dark silhouette of his father, showing Kendall just how large his father really was, and he couldn't help but remain frozen on the spot, just waiting for his father to punish him for something. Keith Knight threw away the door of the closet angrily behind him, flexing his fingers in the light. Kendall couldn't see his face, but that didn't matter, because before Kendall could try to make a move away from his father, his large hands grasped at his clothing, slowly pulling him out of the closet and into the light. At first Kendall did nothing but allow himself to be dragged out, but as soon as he saw the look of anger crossing his father's features, Kendall's eyes widened, horrified. He began to thrash against his father's hands, begging and pleading for him to let him go, but the hand never loosened its grip on his clothing, only slowly tugging at his shirt, the fabric tearing away from his skin in a sickening sound. The cold air, because his father refused to turn on the heating for Kendall because he was 'a useless piece of shit', hit Kendall's body as soon as his shirt had been ripped in half, only the left sleeve hanging to his body, showing himself to his father. Kendall shook in fear, but his father only threw him harshly into the mattress of his bed, his body landing on top of Kendall's as he pressed himself closer. His whimpers of fright were muffled against the mattress, but his hands were roaming all over Kendall's body, sending goosebumps prickling against his skin, but as he neared his bottom, Kendall felt his father's hands going underneath his jeans, the fabric easily letting his hand slip underneath because the waistband was a little too big for Kendall at the age of five. Kendall began to squirm in a desperate attempt to shift his body enough so that he could try to escape, but the hand that had been previously holding Kendall to the bed rose, grasping his hair tightly and yanking hard. He tried not to allow the gasp of pain to surface from his lips, but his father pulled again, much harder this time, and Kendall couldn't help the small hiss of pain_

_"If you just relax, this will be easier on us both" Keith whispered in a flirtatious tone directly in Kendall's ear, and Kendall tried to flinch away from his father's lips, but all it did was send pain coursing through him because he pulled his hair. His head throbbed in pain from his father pulling at his hair, but the pain never numbed his body, because he felt his jeans being yanked off his body quickly before Kendall could attempt to stop him. He shivered violently under his father's hands as they roamed to get his boxers off, but Kendall felt him, and he quickly started to kick out violently, once again begging and pleading for him to stop, but it did nothing but anger him. A loud slap echoed around his bedroom, and for a moment Kendall stayed still, shock numbing his body for almost a moment before a stinging sensation he felt before prickled at his cheek. The cold from the room hit his body, and in horror Kendall noticed himself naked underneath his father, who had removed his own jeans and was now pressing himself to Kendall, rubbing his hard member down his leg. Kendall didn't understand what was happening as his father forced him on his back to look at him deeply in the eyes, his hand still clasped in Kendall's hair hard. His father kept the eye contact as he lifted Kendall's little legs up in the air, showing himself more to the monster of his father. He began to whimper in fright as his father licked his lip, and with no warning or preparation, Kendall felt his father thrust deeply into him, forcing Kendall to let off a gut-wrenching scream ripped from his throat_

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Katie's p.o.v

The gut-wrenching scream made Katie flinch, the cards she was currently holding in her hands dropped forgotten to the floor as Katie bolted to her brothers room. As she barrelled through the door, the horrific scene made her eyes water, but she pushed them back. Her older brother was thrashing violently on the bed against something in his dreams, his arms and legs kicking and scratching up in the air, trying to fight off something that Katie couldn't see. But it was the scream of absolute terror from Kendall's mouth that made Katie's heart clench hard in her chest, because even though his voice had already gone hoarse, he continued to scream and scream, the scream never loosing volume. Katie remained at the door for a few moments, desperately trying to pull herself together enough so that she could help her brother. But as the time went on, Kendall's screams only got worse because he screamed louder, words now forming from his nightmare as he continued to thrash around on the bed

"No, please! I-I won't do anything bad! Please, no more!" Kendall shouted, the end of the sentence only a whimper as he started to cry in his sleep, no more words forming, only small whimpers. Katie ran to her brother's side, shaking him hard to wake him up. Some of her tears dripped onto Kendall's face, but she ignored them, only shaking Kendall harder and harder, her hands balling into fists in Kendall's shirt

"Kendall! Please wake up! You're having a nightmare!" Katie screamed in fright, sobbing harder because her brother wouldn't wake up from his terrifying nightmare, only trying to curl himself into a small ball and sobbing hard. But suddenly, as if a switch had been turned on inside Kendall's head, his eyes burst open, but his arms began to thrash around, and he caught Katie in the cheek, sending her flying backwards to the floor. She felt a stinging in her cheek and she felt hurt about Kendall hitting her, but she pushed the thoughts back, because Kendall had a horrid nightmare that scared Katie to no end. Katie stood up almost immediately after being sent to the floor by her older brother, trying to pretend she was not phased by his actions, but as she looked at Kendall, she could see him curling into a ball, sobbing into his pillow and mumbling something that Katie couldn't hear because of the pillow muffling the sound

"K-Kenny?" Katie whispered, watching as Kendall froze, his whole body going tense as Katie spoke, but he never tried to remove his face from the pillow. Katie slowly approached him, placing her hand on the small of his back for comfort, but Kendall flinch violently away from her touch, almost lunging to the end of the bed with a small squeak of fright. His body began to tremble violently, and Katie tried to sooth him by talking to him in a soft voice, but nothing worked. Slowly Katie slid of the bed, pulling out her mobile and watching Kendall the whole time she sent a text to the first person on her contacts, Carlos, saying that he needs to come back to the apartment. She didn't bother to say anything else, only shoved her phone back in her pocket and trying to approach Kendall again on the bed, but he flinched as soon as he felt the bed dip, and Katie felt hurt pulse through her stomach

"I'm home!" Mama Knight shouted and Katie saw Kendall flinch violently again, curling tighter into a ball, his long legs right to his chest

"Mom!" Katie screamed, never taking her eyes off Kendall as he shook in fear, large fat tears running down his cheeks as he tried to hide them

"Katie! What's wr-" Mama Knight stopped dead in her sentence as soon as she blasted into the room, looking at Katie then Kendall, her eyes staying on Kendall's small, curled figure. Katie saw the fear race through her mothers eyes, but she did nothing but watch as she ran to Kendall's side, brushing his hair back from his eyes, ignoring the flinch he did at the contact. Mama Knight began to speak to Kendall soothingly, still brushing her fingers through his hair

"Kendall sweetie, it's okay. He's gone and never coming back. Please, calm down" Mama Knight spoke low even in the silent room, but the door burst open, and Kendall gave off a loud scream of fright before trying to scramble away from his mom, scratching at the covers

"No! Please, I'll be a good boy! Please don't hit me!" Kendall began to furiously babble words as Katie watched with horrified eyes as her brother began to sob into his knees, shaking furiously

"Kenny" Katie whispered as she approached her brother, nestling herself against his side and trying to comfort her brother as he sobbed into his knees. Katie felt how violently he was shaking, he was shaking like a leaf, his whole body tense, making the tremors worse, but in surprise, Katie felt Kendall pull her closer to him and buried his head into Katie's long brown hair, crying softly into her hair despite everyone watching him let go of his emotions

"Shh it's okay Kenny, let it out" Katie whispered in Kendall's ear, making sure that her voice was low so no one else heard the words she was whispering to him. Katie didn't know what was making Kendall sob hard into her hair, making his salty tears run down her neck, but she made no more to try to wipe them away, her only thoughts were Kendall

"I-I'm so sorry" Kendall sobbed, burying his nose deeper into Katie's hair, but Katie froze on the spot at his words. Why was he saying sorry? Did something happen?

"Kenny, what happened?" Katie spoke loud in the room, moving her head to look at the three other boys she considered brothers, because they protected her. But at the first glance, Katie wished she didn't look in their direction, because what she was guilt in each of the boys eyes, but even her mom looked at them, looking horrified

"What happened?" Mama Knight spoke, trying to keep the angry tone from her voice, but Katie heard it clear in her voice, her eyes narrowing dangerously in their direction. Katie watched them squirm under her gaze, Logan drawing patterns on the floor with his toe

"G-Gustavo was not happy with Kendall's singing today, and he said some nasty stuff to Kendall. H-He had a bit of a fit in the recording booth and ran out, but Gustavo stopped him, threatening that if he left, he would replace him. B-But we did nothing to stop him from s-saying horrible things to Kendall, and he ran out in tears" Logan whispered, but it was impossibly loud in the quiet, tense room. The only sound now was Kendall sniffing against Katie's hair, but she felt angry

"How would you? Especially today!" Mama Knight stopped Katie from speaking, her voice raising a few octaves as she screamed at the three boys. They flinched away from her, but Mama Knight was not finished, she only turned around to look at Kendall, a look of sadness etched on her face and deep in her eyes

"Mom?" Katie whispered as she felt her eyes watering "w-what's so special about today? What's wrong with Kendall?" Katie whispered, letting the tears flow from her eyes when she felt Kendall flinch

"I never told you this because you were so young" Mama Knight started, turning her head away from Kendall's small form so she could stared Katie deeply into the eyes "but your father was a raging alcoholic, and he was violent when he drank. He mostly took it out on Kendall, calling him such horrible names when he told me. But Kendall tried to hide the fact that his father abused him from me, because I-I was at work when it happened" Mama Knight paused in her sentence to look at Kendall, who had removed his face from Katie's hair and staring at his mother, pleading with her to not continue, his cheeks wet with tears

"D-Don't mum, please" Kendall whispered with his hoarse voice, his bottom lip trembling

"I don't know the full story, but the last time his father raised his hand at Kendall was the time I found out. H-He had beaten Kendall hard one afternoon, e-even using his baseball bat he used in emergencies to slam it across Kendall's cheek at first. That's when I heard the horrific scream upstairs, and as I raced upstairs, I saw. . .I saw him hitting Kendall with the bat" Mama Knight chocked on a sob as she told the story, her eyes filling with tears, but she continued through the sobbing "h-he had raped Kendall before he started to hit him, I know because I saw him naked, bleeding" Mama Knight sent Kendall a look of apology from where Katie sat, but Kendall only cried harder into his hands. Katie took another look towards the boys, seeing them looking horrified at what Mama Knight was saying, their eyes never leaving Kendall's small, fragile figure and trying to figure out how he managed to keep all of it inside

"Oh god" Logan muttered, his face paling as Mama Knight finished her sentence. Carlos just stood there, pale faced and looking like he was about to pass out. But James was shaking violently, his face pale like the others, but he made a move towards Kendall, looking at Katie as if he needed to ask permission to cuddle Kendall. Katie moved from Kendall's side, just missing the small whimper from his mouth before James occupied the space she had been in moments ago

* * *

James' p.o.v

How could he have missed what Kendall had been through with his father? He had noticed the bruises that Kendall often had when he came into pre-k littering his face and arms, the rest covered with his clothing, but he had simply ignored them, not fully understanding what was happening. James had never felt as guilty as he felt now, because Kendall had kept everything that had happened to him a big secret from him, from someone that James thought he considered a brother, but today, James had acted like a massive jerk. He didn't stop Gustavo from yelling at Kendall, only adding fuel to the already big fire going on inside Gustavo, forcing him to say words that reminded Kendall of that terrible day that wouldn't leave Kendall, it would remain inside his mind, ready to resurface when he was troubled. James had not noticed his emotions on the day, but now he desperately needed to fix Kendall, to stop the horrid memories from coming back, to prove to Kendall that he was going to be there for him, no matter what happened. James pulled Kendall closer to him, ignoring the flinch and him trying to get out of his grip by gently pulling away, but James only held on closer, tighter

"I'm so sorry Kenny" James whispered as he brushed his fingers through Kendall's dirty blond hair, trying to sooth both Kendall and himself. James turned to the others, only just noticing that they had approached the bed, Carlos sitting on the edge near Kendall and rubbing his shoulder, and Logan sitting near Kendall's legs, rubbing them

"We're sorry too buddy!" Carlos muttered, pulling off his helmet and gently putting in down on the bed. Kendall continued to sniffle, but James could feel Kendall trying to smile

"Listen, we are so sorry about today, and there's no amount of times we can apologise to you about how much of a jerk we all have been. If you don't forgive us Kenny, then we understand" James looked at his other brothers, watching as they nodded their heads like a nodding dog, even Kendall moved his gaze to his brothers, noticing them nodding. But to James' surprise, Kendall looked up at James, his emerald eyes staring deeply into his

"I-I understand why you guys were jerks. But I'm sorry too, I should have told you straight away as soon as it happened, I shouldn't have kept it to myself" Kendall spoke, his voice thick and raspy because he had cried for a long time, but James brought him closer, cuddling Kendall against his chest, trying to squeeze the hurt out of him

"It's understandable that you kept it from us, I mean you went through a lot. And you want to be known by everyone as the strong leader. We just want you to forgive us" Logan whispered, moving his hand and running his hands through Kendall's hair, just missing James' hand

"I forgive you" Kendall whispered, nestling into James. But James' thoughts went to Gustavo, who needed to get a good shouting at, so James slowly slid Kendall towards Carlos, who immediately wrapped his arms around Kendall and let him get comfortable by making Kendall rest his head against Carlos' chest, lying him down on the bed. Logan sat in James' spot on the bed as James pulled out his phone. It rang twice

"Dog! Where are you?" Gustavo sounded pissed, but James' emotions were wild

"We are having two weeks off thanks to your actions towards Kendall" James didn't demand the two weeks off, he sternly told Gustavo, through the tone in his voice, that they were getting the days off. He heard Gustavo spit out the drink, the noise humorous if the situation was not so dire

"You can't just demand that you get two weeks off!" Gustavo started to ramble, but James cut him off

"Actually I think I can, because Kendall's been through a lot today. He told us a little something about him, about how his father was abusive, and today is the anniversary of the last time his dad rose his hands against Kendall. And your actions did NOT help today. So we are having two weeks off, and if you phone any of us, I'll add another week. Goodbye" James hung up on Gustavo before he could complain, and James felt satisfaction of telling Gustavo off flow through his veins. A small smile littered his face as he turned around to look at Kendall, seeing him nestled in Carlos' arms and Logan cuddling Kendall from behind him, both were lying down on the bed close to Kendall. James walked toward Kendall, but Carlos began to try to remove Kendall to give him to James, but James shook his head, leaning down and resting his head on Kendall's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and cuddling him closer

"We won't let anything else hurt you, Kenny" James whispered to the sleeping Kendall, kissing the top of Kendall's head and falling asleep surrounded by his brothers, a small smile still on his face


End file.
